In Today's world everything we do is shared on social media, including our relationships, but what effect does this really have on our romance life?
Sherry Turkle, writes in her book Reclaiming conversation; The Power of Talk in a Digital Age: "You learn to give your friends a pass when they drop in and our of conversation to talk with friends on their phones. And a flirtation, you learn to treat NOTHING as something to put out of your mind."
While Turkle explores what she calls The Nothing Gambit, the effects of technology on the way we communicate and what we expect from the people we have relationships with, I am more curious in the effects of social media at large on our relationships.
When a couple enters a romantic relationship it is commonly expected that they will announce this relationship online through their many social media applications, and in doing so receive likes and acknowledgement from their friends and loved ones.
This then continues throughout their relationship, every big occasion in a couples time together, both the good and the bad is expected to be broadcast through their social medias, every trip, gift fight is meant to be acknowledged online and opened for conversation with their friends and family.
This in itself can prove toxic to a relationship. The endless audience and chorus of opinions can often sway couples to look at their relationship through the eyes of people outside of it, and feel a growing pressure to treat their relationship as others tell them too, which is often not the best strategy for them and their loved one.
Adding to the choir of voices casting opinions and views on your relationship are the endless posts, articles and opinions of people who do not know you or your partner.
We've all seen the various articles titled with such things as 'Ten things he does that mean he doesn't love you', or rather the 'If your girlfriend does this marry her'. Articles such as these are difficult not to read, but equate to poison for a lot of relationships, enforcing expectations that are not true to everyone or rather do not suit every relationship.
Adding to these outside pressures are constant memes saying things like; 'If you don't feel butterflies five years later then it can't be true love'.
All of these things combined create a toxic environment for the survival of healthy relationships. It is important to remember, when in a relationship, that no one else but you and your partner matter. If the way you are living and the things you are doing make you both happy than it is a healthy relationship for you.
If you are in a long term relationship then expects to feel less frill, particularly if you live with your partner. When living with someone having a racing heart whenever you're around them is a health risk, not romantic.
Try disengaging from social media, keep a few romantic gestures to yourself. This not only intensifies the romance in the moment, as your not stopping to take Instagram ready pictures or to reply to your friends comments on the moment, but also gives you a story to tell people in person that they do not already know everything about.
Most importantly a relationship should be fun, for you and your partner. If it isn't tuna anymore, and your unhappy then it may be time to consider your options, but don't give up just because they don't make huge romantic gestures everyday like social media tells you they should.
Sherry Turkle, writes in her book Reclaiming conversation; The Power of Talk in a Digital Age: "You learn to give your friends a pass when they drop in and our of conversation to talk with friends on their phones. And a flirtation, you learn to treat NOTHING as something to put out of your mind."
While Turkle explores what she calls The Nothing Gambit, the effects of technology on the way we communicate and what we expect from the people we have relationships with, I am more curious in the effects of social media at large on our relationships.
When a couple enters a romantic relationship it is commonly expected that they will announce this relationship online through their many social media applications, and in doing so receive likes and acknowledgement from their friends and loved ones.
This then continues throughout their relationship, every big occasion in a couples time together, both the good and the bad is expected to be broadcast through their social medias, every trip, gift fight is meant to be acknowledged online and opened for conversation with their friends and family.
This in itself can prove toxic to a relationship. The endless audience and chorus of opinions can often sway couples to look at their relationship through the eyes of people outside of it, and feel a growing pressure to treat their relationship as others tell them too, which is often not the best strategy for them and their loved one.
Adding to the choir of voices casting opinions and views on your relationship are the endless posts, articles and opinions of people who do not know you or your partner.
We've all seen the various articles titled with such things as 'Ten things he does that mean he doesn't love you', or rather the 'If your girlfriend does this marry her'. Articles such as these are difficult not to read, but equate to poison for a lot of relationships, enforcing expectations that are not true to everyone or rather do not suit every relationship.
Adding to these outside pressures are constant memes saying things like; 'If you don't feel butterflies five years later then it can't be true love'.
All of these things combined create a toxic environment for the survival of healthy relationships. It is important to remember, when in a relationship, that no one else but you and your partner matter. If the way you are living and the things you are doing make you both happy than it is a healthy relationship for you.
If you are in a long term relationship then expects to feel less frill, particularly if you live with your partner. When living with someone having a racing heart whenever you're around them is a health risk, not romantic.
Try disengaging from social media, keep a few romantic gestures to yourself. This not only intensifies the romance in the moment, as your not stopping to take Instagram ready pictures or to reply to your friends comments on the moment, but also gives you a story to tell people in person that they do not already know everything about.
Most importantly a relationship should be fun, for you and your partner. If it isn't tuna anymore, and your unhappy then it may be time to consider your options, but don't give up just because they don't make huge romantic gestures everyday like social media tells you they should.
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